Carlin on Euphemisms, Redundancies, and Soft Language

Carlin on Euphemisms, Redundancies, and Soft Language Words fascinated George Carlin. From his early routine on Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television to the inventory of euphemisms in Airline Announcements, languageespecially bent or abused or soft languagewas his recurrent theme. By and large, he once said, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Carlin, who died in 2008, clearly knew a thing or two about claptrapand twaddle, poppycock, balderdash, gobbledygook, and drivel. In fact, drivel was the word he used to describe his own writingsGood, funny, occasionally smart, but essentially drivel (Napalm Silly Putty, Hyperion, 2001). For an example of Carlins drivel, consider his short essay Count the Superfluous Redundant Pleonastic Tautologies. The essay doesnt include all 200 of the common redundancies in our own list, but it comes close: My fellow countrymen, I speak to you as coequals, knowing you are deserving of the honest truth. And let me warn you in advance, my subject matter con ­cerns a serious crisis caused by an event in my past history: the execution-style killing of a security guard on a delivery truck. At that particular point in time, I found myself in a deep depression, making mental errors which seemed as though they might threaten my future plans. I am not over-exaggerating.I needed a new beginning, so I decided to pay a social visit to a personal friend with whom I share the same mutual objectives and who is one of the most unique individuals I have ever personally met. The end result was an un ­expected surprise. When I reiterated again to her the fact that I needed a fresh start, she said I was exactly right; and, as an added plus, she came up with a fi ­nal solution that was absolutely perfect.Based on her past experience, she felt we needed to join together in a com ­mon bond for a combi ned total of twenty-four hours a day, in order to find some new initiatives. What a novel innovation! And, as an extra bonus, she presented me with the free gift of a tuna fish. Right away I noticed an immedi ­ate positive improvement. And although my recovery is not totally complete, the sum total is I feel much better now knowing I am not uniquely alone.(When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Hyperion, 2004) Behind Carlins comic observations lay the sharp linguistic insights of a self-described disappointed idealist. Question everything you read or hear or see or are told, he recommended in a 2004 CNN interview. Question it. And try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however theyve mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. Now that Carlin has passed on, kicked off, checked out, made his exit, gone to glory, cashed in his chips, and joined the great majority to sleep the big sleep, we wouldnt dare say nice things about him. Its too late for that. Its a perverse fact that in death you grow more popular. As soon as youre out of everyones way, your approval curve moves sharply upward. You get more flowers when you die than you got your whole life. All your flowers arrive at once. Too late.(Napalm Silly Putty, Hyperion, 2001) So well just say, thank you, George. Thanks for all the drivel.

Muttaburrasaurus - Facts and Figures

Muttaburrasaurus - Facts and Figures Name: Muttaburrasaurus (Greek for Muttaburra lizard); pronounced MOO-tah-BUH-ruh-SORE-us Habitat: Woodlands of Australia Historical Period: Middle Cretaceous (110-100 million years ago) Size and Weight: About 30 feet long and  three tons Diet: Plants Distinguishing Characteristics: Streamlined torso; occasional bipedal posture; powerful jaws About Muttaburrasaurus It takes only one look at Muttaburrasaurus to see that this dinosaur was closely related to Iguanodon: both of these plant-eaters shared the slender, low-slung, stiff-tailed posture characteristic of the two-legged, herbivorous dinosaurs known as ornithopods. Thanks to the discovery of a near-complete skeleton in northeastern Australia, in 1963, paleontologists know more about the head of Muttaburrasaurus than that of any other iguanodont; this dinosaur was equipped with powerful jaws and teeth, adaptations to its tough vegetable diet, and its strange muzzle may have been used to create honking sounds (a trait common to the descendants of the ornithopods, the hadrosaurs, or duck-billed dinosaurs). One odd fact about Muttaburrasaurusand about iguanodonts in generalis that this 30-foot-long, three-ton dinosaur was capable of running on its hind legs when startled or pursued by predators, though it doubtless spent most of its day munching low-lying vegetation peacefully on all fours. As you might expect, the middle Cretaceous Muttaburrasaurus has an especially high profile in Australia, since (along with Minmi, a small ankylosaur) its one of the few near-complete dinosaur skeletons to be unearthed Down Under; you can see its reconstructed skeleton at both the Queensland Museum in Brisbane and the National Dinosaur Museum in Canberra.